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Throwback Thursday: The 20 Year Old Me And A Journey To Be Free.

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This post was made possible by Hallmark.

I’ll be 39 this July. It seems impossible. When you’re 20, you just assume that you will always be 20. Never 30. And forget about 40.

It’s funny how you quickly change your mind once you actually get close to 40.

Amy Bellgardt

I had freckles once.

At 20, I was often in a fog. Every day brought a haze of identity confusion, dumb mistakes and misdirection. My focus was strictly on survival for my brother (who I had legal guardianship over at the time) and myself, with a little bit of rock-n-roll in between. That was all I could possibly handle or think about doing at that time.

When you are stuck in a survival mental state like that, you don’t often make the time (because there IS NOT TIME) to analyze your own goals, wishes or dreams. Honestly, you don’t even really even know who you are, other than a person who keeps moving forward, providing for loved ones and going through the motions. Doing the right thing, yes, but ultimately just going through the expected motions of responsibility and commitments.

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I had a thing for hats. And green thrift store couches.

My true identity took years to discover, along with my life’s path, but I certainly don’t regret the time I spent hammering it out. I needed those years. I needed to struggle and struggle HARD.

What I learned during that timeline was that I didn’t want to struggle through life for the rest of my life, though I knew there would be bumps along the way. I didn’t want a perfectly seamless life, but if I had just one wish for my future, it would be that I could simply be free.

Free to choose my own lifestyle, free to love who I love, free to work for what I truly cared for, free to be a creative thinker and free from financial burdens.

“Free” was my identity. And it wasn’t easy to achieve. It was like stair stepping in slow motion. For years.

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But I made it to the top.

Throughout these years of self-discovery, I experienced many ups and downs with my family, as I have shared in several articles here, but my grandmother was the one soul in my life that was there, available, and thinking of me.

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Grandma would send me a greeting card on EVERY holiday of the year, and I mean EVERY holiday. She still does. She never forgets, either. Even late in her 80s, she never forgets. If there was one thing I could count on, it was her thoughtfulness in the mail. She didn’t always agree with my lifestyle or choices, but she always offered a hug via the mail. I certainly didn’t appreciate it enough in my 20s, but man, that was HUGE.

Hallmark Sarah Jessica Parker Greeting Cards

Not only is Grandma still sending me cards in the mail at almost 39 years old, but to my sons, too. Seeing this full circle tradition is pretty phenomenal. Such a simple task can mean so much, especially when one is going through a time of doubt, hurt or confusion.

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I am happy to be a partner of Hallmark this year, which has inspired me to write this post.

card-collections_hdr-sarah-Jessica-parker-cards Hallmark Sarah Jessica Parker Greeting Cards

Featuring rich paper with unique patterns, illustrations, photography and calligraphy, this new collection of greeting cards and stationery was designed to help women celebrate life’s big moments and all the happy little moments in between. Sarah Jessica Parker collaborated with our creative team to develop themes that reflected her personality, often pairing vintage artwork from the Hallmark archives with more modern touches, like gemstones, ribbon and tulle. Parker also helped set the tone of the cards, opting for simple, authentic and heartfelt messages.

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Look for the Sarah Jessica Parker collection, which currently includes captions for birthdays and saying thanks, exclusively in Hallmark Gold Crown stores.

Now, I am off to write a handwritten note to include inside a “thank you” card for someone very special to me. I hope you will consider doing the same for someone who helped you through a hard time. xoxo

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Hallmark Sarah Jessica Parker Greeting Cards

This post was made possible by Hallmark.


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